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 .flow; With Spinach

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PostSubject: .flow; With Spinach   Sat Aug 06, 2011 4:36 pm

Greetings everyone.

I'm not quite sure if this is the right place the post this, but there doesn't seem to be a literature section so I guess this is right? Well anyway, I've recently taken up the task of writing a story based on .flow; a novelization if you will. So I was wondering if I could post it here and get your opinions on it. I'm really working on improving my writing and finding my voice, ect, so I think this would be very good for me. Now if this is the wrong place for this, or it's not supposed to happen, then feel free to lock this, delete it, yell at me, whatever you want. I'm not afraid to learn from my mistakes. I have the prologue as well as the first 2 chapters written, though only the prologue is actually finished so I'll only be posting that right now. If you all feel it's good enough, I'd be happy to share the new chapters as I write them. Who knows? If this goes far enough, maybe I'll even put it up on FF.net so it'll be more organised? But that's a far way away as of now so... yeah. I hope you enjoy it... I don't know if I'm any good or not, but I love doing it and would love some crits. So without further adeu:
_______________________________________________________________________

.flow

As seen and interpreted by
Spinach/Sunny
_______________________________________________________________________

"Flow is the mental state of operation in which a person in an activity is fully immersed in a feeling of energized focus, full involvement, and success in the process of the activity."
-Mihály Csíkszentmihályi
_______________________________________________________________________


Prologue

Imagine that there's this little man, and this little man is trapped inside a cave with no way to get out. If you were this little man, what would you do? You would probably yell and scream, cause a rukkus, beat on the walls, and try to blast your way out. Now take that cave, and replace it with the inside of my head. That's what's going on in there right now. That's all that's been happening in there for as long as I can remember. We thought it was migranes when I was young, but the doctors performed all sorts of weird tests on me, all of which came up negative. Then they thought I had ADHD: nope. Wanted attention: that's the last thing I wanted. Then where was it coming from? Why was this happening? I knew since I was little that doctors wouldn't be able to tell me. It was like one of those shows on TV where they interview the person with the incredibly exotic illness who didn't know about it until it was almost to late. I would go from doctor to doctor praying for some decimal's worth of progress, but it always came up the same.

I know this makes me sound like a whinny little bitch, but I honestly don't think you can understand it. It's not just a headache; it's worse. No matter what I do, I can't dull it. If I start getting used to the feeling, then it mutates and festers in a different area in my mind. Growing and feeding on my sanity. I don't know life without this pain, and I don't know what I would do if I could find a way to get rid of it. Maybe I would channel it through some amazing ability I never knew I had? I doubt it since I'm so unremarkable.

That's what I am: unremarkable. I'm a plain-jane girl who's cowardice has turned her into a pathetic lump that rarley gets the courage to climb out of bed. My family and friends beg me to leave my room. They promise me things that couldn't possibly be true: "Come on out Sabi! It's such a beautiful day today! I know that if you would come out of there and got some fresh air, you'd feel fantastic!" Boy was that a lie if I had ever heard one. One look out on my balcony (which supplied me with all the fresh air I needed) would tell me that the sky was one great big blanket of clouds, just like it always was. Usually at about that point, the man in my head would get irritated and start drilling behind my eye. If I ever met him I'd slug him right in the nose.

But violence is never the answer. No matter what, I would never resort to it. That just isn't something I really have in me. I'm the kind of girl who faces a horrible threat, and cries about it. I can't pull myself together and fight back - oh no. I curl up in a little ball and cry until it leaves me alone. For example, there was a short time when I was a little girl where I went on a field-trip with my classmates to an aquarium. We were all wide-eyed and beautiful as we paced through the building, romping from tank to tank and taking in everything that we saw. It was a great time up until about lunch time. When the teacher called everyone to eat, we all split up into out small little groups of friends (which now that I think about it, it was horrible for kindergarteners to form cliques) and ate in peace. Now this was a bit of a problem for me since the boy that I usually sat with was quite sick that day and couldn't go with us on our trip. Poor little Sabi ate alone on a bench outside. How nice it was to have a small bit of time by my self, away fromt he screaming mass of children that sat inside. Maybe a 5 year-old sitting alone outside was a bad idea, but I thought nothing of it because in my mind, nothing bad could happen on this wonderful day; even the man in my head was taking a break from his spelunking and kept it down upstairs.

When the teacher called everyone back into the group it was time for a much needed bathroom-break for everyone. In groups of 5-6, we would file into our respective room, do out bussiness, and return to the mass of children int he lobby. I was paired with a groupd of 4 other girls who without me knowing, said horrible horrible things about me behind my back (again, what kind of kindergartener does this?). I thought all of us were on level terms and could possibly be swell with eachother. Well somehow we ended up being the last group of girls to use the restroom. In other-words, I was the last girl to use the restroom since the other 4 rushed into the stalls as quickly as possible so I would have to wait. Well as if it were some sort of ballet, they all finnished up at the same time, and left. So this left me on my own. Or so I thought . . .

The girls hadn't actually left the room and were waiting just outside my stall to hold the door closed so I couldn't get out. When I realised this, I got a bit worried. "Umm, can you please let me out?"

"Hahaha! No! No no no no! Are you stupid? Why would we let you out?" one of them cackled at me. I can still hear the tone in her voice. She had a gap in her teeth where one had fallen out recently and it gave her a slight lisp.

"B-but we need to get back out with the others? Why won't you let me out? I thought we could be fri-"

"Why would we be friends with you? You're so dumb!" They all laughed.

Well I'm not sure how they did it, but they managed to jam the door shut because before I even knew what was happening, they ran out. They little shits even shut the door, and turned the lights off. Needless to say that this didn't bubble over well with the small 5 yearo-old girl who was afraid of her own shadow, let alone a bathroom that was so dark you couldn't see your hand inches from yuor face. I started to beat on the door with both of my hands, yelling as loud as I could for someone to come save me. In my innocent panic, I began to hear things: things that I hope weren't really there. There was a mocking laughter that echoed around my head. Small rodents were chittering as they darted across my feet from corner to corner. But what I think really took the cake, was boiling that was rising up behind me.

It would seem that there was a monster that was taking shape inside the plumming of the toilet I was next to, as it bubbled and screamed at me. I started to cry at this point and could feel the tears as they poured down my face. My lip started to cramp slightly until it was frozen into a pout, and my nose lost all function and ability to keep the snot off my face. My god I pounded as hard as I could on that door, but it just wouldn't give in no matter how hard I tried. I punched, kicked, everything. Finally even the little man in my head must've snapped because I got the idea to crawl under the stall. Granted I hit my head once or twice since I was so rushed to escape whatever was pulling itself out of the porecline throne behind me, but soon I was free. Well sort of, I could still hear the noises, and it was still dark as fuck in that bathroom. Thus, began my next quest: find the door.

This prooved to be a much larger task than I had thought I would've been. I pretty much found everything but the door. I turned on every faucet, I bumped into every stall, I accidently started the hand dryers which startled me even worse. It was so hard to think right with everything that was happening. My ears were assulted by the sounds, my head was spinning, I didn't know up from down. One way or another though, I found that door. My grubbly little hands grabbed that handle and pulled as hard as I could. I ran out of there screaming as loud as I could, and it only get even louder when my eyes still didn't work due to the sudden change in light. I tore through the building in a total state of shock and panic. I pushed open the door and ran through the metal detector until I was outside, huddled under a tree.

Now you're probably wondering where the employee's, my teacher, or human for that matter, was. Well me too? No one seemed to notice when I ran out of the lobby. The teacher didn't seem to notice my absence untill the very end of the trip. By then though, I had forced myself back to sanity, and wandered my way back to the bus where everyone else was loading. The whole bus ride, I sat alone in my seat with my lunchbox crying quietly to myself. I could hear all the kids around my laughing and giggling amongst themselves. It wasn't at me, but it sure felt like it. All of them didn't give a rat's ass about me, or that I had a mental breakdown to the point of haluciantion. If he would've been there though, I'm sure he would have cared. He would have waited at the restrooms for me, and when he realised something was wrong, he would've gotten help. He would have sat with me on the way home and joked with me to make me feel better. But he was sick. He was fucking sick. Sick with a cold or something - I don't remember - but it was something stupid like that. I don't want to sound selfish or anything, but why couldn't he have sucked it up and come on the trip anyway? Just to keep me sane? He would have sat there next to me, all awkward like, and we would have found a game to play; some odd thing we made up on a whim. He was one of my only friends growing up. He was all I needed. It wasn't love, it was just to fill a void.

But this is all very childish of my to weep over. I have absolutley no reason to grab onto false hopse and lost desires. All I want from the rest of my life, is for a momentary release from everything happening. I want the world to stop for 5 seconds and take a deep breath. I want someone to actually give a shit weather I get out of bed the next day, or weather I wither and wilt under my sheets until I turn to soil. There is something very wrong with me right now, and I aim to solve the puzzel. Maybe if I can, I can die in peace.

I can finally find salvation, and just let go. After-all, isn't that what we all want from life?
_______________________________________________________________________

Stunning


I didn't get much sleep last night. I'm not sure what it was exactly; a burrning feeling that burrowed deep into my chest. It was a feeling of nervousness or anxiety. So there I lay, feeling my eyes getting heavier and heavier but never closing all the way. I stared at the celining for hours on end, watching the darkness slowy creep around me. It looked like it was alive - black worms that were wiggling and writhing all across the ceiling. It slowly got more and more dense. More and more they multiplyed before my eyes. Before I knew it, they were making noises. A disgusting sloshing noise that made my skin crawl. They continued to squirm untill they began to drip. One by one they started plopping down onto my face and body. I could feel in initial impact, but then they disipated into mist and no longer existed. They were banished back into the black room around me just to be recycled back to the mass that was festering my ceiling. They grew louder and louder; a quiet buzz turned into a mountain of screaming. Highpitched squeeles rang inside my ears and no matter what I did, I couldn't block it from my ears. I covered my head with my pillow, but it provided not even a softening of the worm's cries. I whined and moaned for the sounds to end. I needed to sleep.

I was pulled out of my struggle by a thud that shook the room. It killed the worms, and forced the air out of my lungs. It was like a truck drove through the wall. I sat up to investigate. Everything seemed to be just how I left it. The floor was still old-looking with a tacky rug that covered a water stain, the walls were peeling, my bookcase listed to the left and threatened my old tv that got no signal. My old game consol still collected dust in the middle of the floor since I haven't used it in ages. The pillows that I sat on were still scattered on the floor and their age was begining to show. A light caught my eye. I still don't know why it wasn't the first thing I noticed. After-all, my room was completly dark before, but now, my computer sat on the desk beside my bed with it's screen glaring into the room and filling it with a pale blue light. I rubbed my neck and threw my weight to the side so I could get up. With one swift movment I was in my computer chair.

I sheilded my eyes for a second since they hadn't adjusted to the sudden light. When I felt like I could take it, I looked. The screen was flashing randomly with snow that would buzz and hiss with each strobe. It also looked like my screen was broken. A web would span to the edges from the centre, but only between each blizzard. It made me feel rather uneasy.

This feeling was then pushed further by the sudden humming noise that crept out of the tower near my feet. Oh and I think it might be important to note that I was now on the monitor. A small little image of me standing in the middle of void, oblivious. I sat there in awe. I don't know what the fuck this was. If this was some joke my family was pulling on me, it wasn't funny - though I doubt anyone in my family was capable of something like this. I didn't know what to do. I tried cutting the power to no avail. Even totally unpluging the thing didn't work; just make the machine angry. It hummed a bit louder now, and the area around the computer began to warm up.

"Damn it! Do something!" I cursed at it, slamming my hand down ont he keyboard. It did the trick because it reacted. A loud hiss was fired from the speakers on either side of the monitor, and the images on the screen began to faze out with a weird pixely effect until it let out a sound similar to an air-raid siren. Louder and louder it grew until suddenly it was cut off by the sound of someone knocking at my door. In the split second, it silenced.

"Sabi honey? Are you going to come out today? You're going to sleep through breakfast again and I made your favourite." It was my mom.

"Y-yeah. . . Give me a second." I figured I would humor her today. Plus it would probably help me cool off. The fact that she didn't seem to notice all the racket coming from my room was making me wonder if I was just hearing things. Cabin Fever I say. I slowly got to my feet, shook out my hair, and slipped into some slippers after smoothing out my too-big shirt.

Eating was a tad awkward. The two of us just sat in silence as we slowly worked on our plates. My mind wasn't on my food though. I couldn't wrap my head around that damn computer. However, my mother quickly pulled me back to reality befor emy mind could wander to far. "Sabi, I'm really worried about you. Ever since your sis and father died. . . you just haven't been the same. It's like we don't eve live together anymore. I wish you would start your life back up. It would be really good for you - you know?"

I let the waffle in my mouth settle for a second so I wouldn't have to respond. I hated the sound of my own voice. And how dare she blame my state on my father and sister? They passed almost 2 years ago. I guess she caught my expression because she bit her tongue, "I- I'm sorry dear. I know how much you hate hearing that bu-"

"You don't know what I hate." I sounded more rude than I wanted.

My sudden voicing caught her off guard. She probably hadn't heard me speak in a year. I was practically a mute now. "I'm sorry dear. . . But I always see how you slump over when I say something about it."

She was right when she said I hated hearing about it though. I wasn't incredibly close to my father or anything, but I adored my sister. She was so young and beautiful, with her long black hair, and equally black eyes that let you see right into her soul. She got some strange disease - so did daddy - that basically ate her from the inside out. It wasn't Ebola though, but it was similar. The main difference was that this slowly killed them over the course of 2 years. It stripped them of all colour, and drove them both mad. It eventaully led to my sister having her legs amputated. It wasn't pretty. She could never get used to the prosthetic ones she was given. The feet must have been to small or something, because she could never get her balance again. She just sat in her bed until she died. That's sort of what I'm doing now: waiting in my room until Death finally says, "Fuck it, come with me."

I won't bore you with any details, but breakfast sort of steeped over at that point and we once again ate in silence except for a few, "This is good. Did you get a new recipie?" and a tired sigh or two. I thanked her for the meal and for dealing with me (though it was half-assed and I didn't really mean it) and walked back to my room. When I turned the corner down the hall, I ran to my door before shutting my door and taking my place back at my desk.

The screen had a new message on it: " f l o w_". I didn't get it. "Flow?" I whispered to myself. The screen light alive again. " ye s. c o me w it hu s. w e m i ss yo u." This really threw me for a loop. The computer was talking to me. Talking to me. I had to be losing it now. I should've stayed out there and done the dishes with mom or something. I couldn't get up though, I was entranced. " t ype f o r us."

"Type?"

t e ll u s ast or y

"What kind of story?"

a n yt h i n g

"And I should type it?"

y e s

I ran my fingers through my hair. I can't believe I was really about to tell my computer a story. What was wrong with me, that I would actually do this instead of picking up the monitor, and throwing it off my balcony while yelling, "YOU WON'T GET ME DEMONS!" Well that probably wouldn't be the smartest idea. Knowing my luck I would drop it on someone, or a neighbor would call the cops on the crazy girl throwing shit off her balcony. But I did it anyway. Yes, reader, I actually told the computer a story. I honestly don't remember what the story was about though; it all came out so quickly. My fingers began to dart around between the keys, pressing them with perfect timing and precission. All I really remember was the first few words: "Once there was a girl, who wanted to touch the stars". After that it was all mush until I regained awareness.

My vision was blurring like I had hit my head extra hard, and I was having trouble sitting up. I pushed as hard as I could against the cold floor beneith me. Wait, cold floor? After my visionw as restored, my eyes told me that I was sitting outside my apartment. I wasn't sure how I got out of my room but, I wasn't going to stay out much longer. I took to my feet and reached for the door. The knob spun losley in my hand; far to losley. It was broken. The door wouldn't open no matter how hard I shook or kicked it. I spent maybe 15 minuets pounding on that door, begging for my mom to let me in, but I didn't get any answer. It was all so quiet except for my breathing. I couldn't even hear momma's soap operas on the tv right inside. "Damn it."

I then decided to go downstairs to ask for the extra key so I could get back in. I walked quickly down the coridor and turned the corner to take the stairs. They only went up. Wait, up? No no no. I'm on the top floor. How could they go up when there's nothing above this floor? I looked over at the elevator. Surley that would take me down to the lobby, but after flicking the button, I decided it was out of order. Maybe in my time locked in my room, they changed the layout of the place? I took back down to the other side of the building, only to be greeted by an identical scene. One difference though, was that these stairs were blocked off by an over-sized traffic cone. Oh and this elevator worked. I called it and stepped inside when the doors slid open. You should have seen my face when they closed behind me and wouldn't open. I'm sure my expression was pricless when I noticed there were only two buttons on the pannel, "Here" and "There". Now this just did not add up. Not at all. What was I supposed to do? I ran my fingers through my hair again, and pressed "There".

The cabin shook before pressing down on me. I was going up. Wonderful. To top it off, this was the slowest elevator I had ever been in. It was creeping up the shaft at a snail's pace. The lights were flickering slightly and the speakers next to the door were letting out a very soft fuzz. But then the floor display turned to "99". The mechanism sprung to life as if reciving a jolt to the heart with a defibulator. The sped up the pace and the lights began to get brighter and brighter. The speakers shut off completley, but were replaced with a distant thumping noise. It began to get louder and louder until I recognized it as. . . Techno music. Very loud, bass-filled techno music. It wasn't even good either. It was full of extra noise and glitchy sounds that I cringed a bit. It also seemed to be set to a speed that was far to fast to even pretend to dance to.

Suddenly the elevator came to a loud halt, and the doors flew open. Before me was total darkness followed by an unmuted blast of music. I swear it blew my hair back. But since there was no where for me to go, I stepped out of the box; the doors slammed shut behind me. Looking over my shoulder, I noticed the doors were gone. Totally unexisting now, but that wasn't what I was worried about. I was standing somewhere that reminded me of a rave. All the lights were turned off, but the neon was streaking through thr air. And the music - my god that horrible music, was emiting from a set of giant speakers that seemed a lifetime away. At the base of these speekered was a mob of. . . well I don't know what they were. Creatures of some sort, but nothing that I had ever seen before. With each beat, they thrashed to the side at impossible speeds. It was like they were worshiping the music.

How the fuck am I supposed to get out of here? I want to go back to bed. . .

_______________________________________________________________________

EDITS:
I'll keep this area as a change-log/note section of sorts.
All updates to the story will be kept in this post to keep things organized.

Due to a sub-par laptop, I might have lost all progress on this... which means I'm having to re-write these chapters I did... But do not worry, I'm working hard I promise. I'll have chapter 1 up sometime this week (8/7/11). It's actually taken longer than I thought to actually get Sabi over into flow-world since I like dramatic build-up.
Or I'll have it up right now!
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PostSubject: Re: .flow; With Spinach   Sun Aug 21, 2011 4:01 am

;doubleposteww

Sorry this is coming along so slowly, but I'm working on so many things at once, that it's almost impossible for me to find time to write. Classes start this Monday and god knows I'll hardly have any time to myself... But I promise I'll get this done.
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PostSubject: WOAH   Sun Sep 25, 2011 11:32 pm

This makes me get .flow very different, as it's an interpretation of what Sabitsuki thinks while being in the dream! Ah, I recognized that it was the "neon world", right? Well, anyway, good job, I hope you continue with this soon.
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PostSubject: Re: .flow; With Spinach   Mon Sep 26, 2011 2:16 pm

Vios wrote:
This makes me get .flow very different, as it's an interpretation of what Sabitsuki thinks while being in the dream! Ah, I recognized that it was the "neon world", right? Well, anyway, good job, I hope you continue with this soon.

Ah, thank you very much. Yeah it's the Neon World alright. I always imagined that it would be more appropriate if the music was like.... break/lolicore or something. Anything loud that would cause your ears to bleed.

And since my laptop died with the next 3 chapters on it, I have to rewrite them, which is quite hard with my current schedule. I'm trying my best though.
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PostSubject: Re: .flow; With Spinach   Fri Oct 28, 2011 8:38 am

Spinach wrote:

And since my laptop died with the next 3 chapters on it, I have to rewrite them, which is quite hard with my current schedule. I'm trying my best though.
Oh dear. No
Well, I hope everything goes well for you. Also, if you don't already, save often and back up your files. That way, you can transfer them to a new computer (although I'm not sure what my dad used). Good luck! Wink
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PostSubject: Re: .flow; With Spinach   Fri Nov 11, 2011 1:50 pm

Oh me oh my! Life is just punching me in the gut lately. My house burned down. :/ Anyway, I've been slowly writing the next chapter, and just want to share what I've gotten to a point that I'm happy with. It isn't the full chapter yet, but it's getting close. I'll post the rest when it's done, and it will also go up on the story's FFnet page.

Ignore any mistakes in grammar in spelling, as I haven'T fixed everything yet....

---- Digital BDSM

It's such a strange feeling to not feel you head on your shoulders. When your surounding assult your senses from all angles, you get this bizzare numbness through your body. It wasn't just a normal type of numb; this had a slight ache to it, a pulsing that complemented my heartbeat to match the music. My chest was rattling with that hollow feeling you get when you're surrounded by bass. I felt like a zombie in this enviroment.

The place was encredibly dark. I couldn't tell the wall from the floor from the ceiling. All I could make out was the large structures sculpted from neon tubing, and the abstract creatures that thrashed about as if their parents had stepped out of a Gareth Pugh runways show, and a Salvador Dali painting and had a baby. These things were that screwed up. Between the glitchy screams and the way they twisted around in circles, I almost would have called this an orgy – but I wasn't sure if these things were actually capable of “the do”. They didn't seem to have any form of anatomy with the exception of one or two that had an obvious face, and maybe a crude arm. All the others more resembled household objects than living beings. There went a coat-rack grinding on a dusty tv, a Famicom doing the gitterbug, and that might have been a keyboard dancing with a floating face. I seriously had no fucking clue what I was looking at to put it frankly. None-the-less, I began to cross the infinate room.

To my left was a large set of speakers that pumped out music at impossible decibels that I couldn't even register as sound. Behind me, the elevator doors had disapeared into thin air, and I was instead greeted by a giant dance floor that stretched out as far as I could see. Just beond that, I could see another structure: a tower. I reached high into the air and scratched at the heavens. It was impossible for such a thing to exist in a space this small, but I was begining to suspect that my Earth-physics didn't quite mean much here. There was more to the tower – I knew – but it was to far off for me to be able to see clearly as the neon lights near the top melded together and formed a ball of light.

Something clicked in my head telling me that the tower was my destination. My feet snapped into motion and pulled me towards my destination. Crossing the bright dance floor was something of an adventure on its own. It was absolutley packed with patrons who wanted nothing more than to dry-hump eachother. They let out their hot cries and smashed into one another causing some to bleed a silky red. This only caused more stir as they all crowded around to try and lap up the substance. Were they cannibals? With my luck I was probably in some sort of feeding frenzy. A masochistic, cannibalistic, sex-filled frenzy of metal scraping flesh scraping metal. The air was thick and heavy; very hard for me to breathe.

I noticed as I waded through the masses, was that each floor tile seemed to be a preasure-plate. They flashed bright – and random – colours ranging from yellow, red, cyan, lime green, pink, and orange. However, when stepped on, they each made their own unique chirp.

Plink!

Plonk!

Blam!

Chirp!

Toom tot kaw!

I'll admit, I thought it was pretty creative. Whoever came up with it knew how to make the expirience in the place personal.

I could see the edge of the sea. The dance floor ended a few steps in front of me. I was glad to be out of the fray. Who knew how many times I was poked and proded by who knows what. A sigh left my lips which slipped into a small grin of victory – however short lived.

I was instantly greated by a flash of light that dropped from an impossible hieght to land in front of me.
It wormed and stretched into varrious independent shapes until it took the shape of a large cartoon-looking money. Big, round, white eyes. A large Cheshire Cat smile. Comicly long arms with stubby round legs that support giant hands and feet. Each part of his body was a seperate entity that could move on its own. It was like looking at one of those giant schools of fish that swim in formations to look like other animals, or the fractal shapes flocks of birds make when they travel south. It still frightened me.

He swooped down and pushed his head close to my face. He spoke without moving his mouth. His voice was robotic and fake.

“Hell-o.”

I tried to respond, but I couldn't hear my own voice.

“How did you get he-re? Were you in-vited?”

His tail snaked around behind him in a way that seemed sinnister.

“Sure-ly you- must be lost. You do not be-long here.”

I shook my head. “I don't know how I got here,” I mouthed. I don't think he got the message.

“You shoul-d leave soo-n. You do-not want she to -findyou.”

“....She?”

“Her will sm-ell you soo-n. You do-not want that. Please- be go-ing now.”

“Wait what!? No! How do I get out of here? What's going on? Help me out here! What the fuck are you!?”

“Good-bye.”

In another swift motion, he scrambled off across the floor, and soon was climbing the tower at unbelievable speeds until he blurred into the endless light at the top.
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PostSubject: Re: .flow; With Spinach   Fri Nov 11, 2011 5:16 pm

Wow, this is really good. 8D
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PostSubject: Re: .flow; With Spinach   Sat Nov 12, 2011 8:15 am

SuperSugoiMasada wrote:
Wow, this is really good. 8D

Thank you, so much! :')
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PostSubject: Re: .flow; With Spinach   Sun Nov 13, 2011 1:34 am

Spinach wrote:
SuperSugoiMasada wrote:
Wow, this is really good. 8D

Thank you, so much! :')
You're welcome ^^
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PostSubject: Re: .flow; With Spinach   Wed Dec 28, 2011 7:07 am

I come with a small update!
The ffNet page: Here!

The chapters posted before this point are "old" and are filled with gross little mistakes. The Version posted in the link above is up-to-date!

Chatper 3 cont.

I wasn't done with him – oh no. I started to run to the spire. My legs took on a life of their own and moved me at speeds I didn't know I was capable of. I was so caught up with my own actions, that I didn't notice the changes that were taking place around me. All the little creatures that were once dancing and bumping and grinding and humping and kissing and tearing and laping, were now watching me. Their eyes (those who had them at least) were set on me, and not even blinking would distract them. I was totally oblivious to the change; I would have stopped if I had known, but I continued to run as fast as I could, while the creatures grew more and more angry.

Maybe running was a sin? Maybe they thought I was going to attack that crazy monkey? I still don't know – but whatever it was that I did, oh boy did it make them mad. They all began to change colours, they twitched unaturaly (even for them), some crouched down and took a stance similar to a cat about to pounce. They began to make a terrible hissing noise that sounded like a mixture of radio static, and screaming.

Then all at once, they began to run. They ran after me. The hissing grew louder to the point where it was all I could hear. They tore through the space, tripping eachother, trampling anything that got in their way. The things were foaming at the mouth. It was about this time that I noticed it all happening. I couldn't help but notice the change in preasure around me. The air had grown thick and hard to breathe. I took a quick glance over my shoulder. Then again. Wait what was that? I looked a third time, finally understanding what was happening.

"Oh what-!"

My voice squeeked and I pumped my legs even harder. They were gaining on me. They were going to kill me.

"I-I'm sorry!? What did I do?" I asked.

They didn't hear me over the yowling. It was like running from a tsunami. At least, that how I imagined it being like since I've never actually lived through one before. But it was me running from a giant wave. I could feel the preasure plates giving out under my feet and letting out a little 'plink, plonk, plunk!' that now sounded faint and small.

As I ran, I began to notice just how much bigger everything was than me. I was microscopic. The speakers seemed to grow with each step I took, and forget about the buildings that were sprinkled here and there: I couldn't even see where the roof started. It was all so much to take in at once. My senses were being filled with all kinds of negitive input that I almost didn't notice the wall 3 steps in front of me. I thrust my hands in front of me to cushion the impact. I was now standing at the base of that giant tower, and the citizens of this world were closing in on me. I had no choice but to climb. So I did.

---

It was a long and painful climb to the top. The sides of the tower were made of various wires and circuit boards which made it hard to find good foot-holds. Several times I had a foot or hand slip and I would be left dangling by one hand several hundred meters in the air. That wasn't something I was comfortable with; lucky for me though, the creatures couldn't climb and were left to writhe and slash at the bottom of the tower. They were waiting for me to fall. When I did, they would be waiting for me at the bottom with gaping maws and sharp, mechanical teeth the devour and destroy me.

The further I climbed up the structure, the taller it seemed to get. With each meter I gained, it grew two. It felt almost pointles to do it as I would never reach the top. This made me cry. I was having an emotional breakdown at the worst possible time. I wasn't ready to die, and I sure as hell didn't want to go like this. This was not a death that anyone deserved. I'm not sure if it counted as cruel, but it sure was unusual. I mean – how many times do you read the newspaper and see a headline reading, "Girl is devoured after plumeting from highest hieghts!" Never that's when, because it doesn't happen in real life!

And that's when something in my head went off. Real life. There was no way that this was real. It had to be a dream right? There was no way, absolutley no way, that this was happening in my reality. My head started buzzing with ifs and doubts.

What if I had gone insane?

Maybe I'm just dreaming?

I'm probably insane though. No sane person would dream this up...

But if this is what being insane is like, then there's no way I want to live the rest of my days like this.

I sat there for probably 8 hours, clinging to the side of the spire, as I tried to decide what to do. My adrenaline was pumping through my veins at dangerous amounts, but even that couldn't help me. My arms were to tired, and my hands left go. They just stopped working all together. I began to fall.

It was almost like slowmotion.

Here I was: falling to my death. I couldn't move my arms to try and grab anything, or to roll me over to see how much farther I had to fall. I just fell. It was so sureal. And as morbid as it may sound – it was beautiful. The lights floated mast me, and the music slowed down to a gentle melody – a waltz- that relaxed my head. In the 15 minuets I fell, I had accepted it. I was going to die. I was ready. I didn't want to climb that damn tower any more. I was ready.

The strangest thing happened. I smiled. I actually smiled, and started to laugh. Now if that wasn't poetic, I don't know what is. I was laughing at the face of my impending doom, and was crying tears of joy. I think somewhere deep down, I was happy. Maybe somewhere deep down, I wanted to die. I was living a semi-miserable existance anyway, so why not just save nature the time, and die?

The floor was near, and in the split second before impact, I regreted everything. I wasn't ready to die.

I managed to give off a single tear before I woke up.


Last edited by Spinach on Sun Jan 15, 2012 11:37 am; edited 1 time in total
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PostSubject: Re: .flow; With Spinach   Sun Jan 01, 2012 10:41 pm

So, is that tower that she was climbing an imaginary tower, a tower that I somehow missed, or is it the blue-and-red pathway that you find in a door in the world? Just to make 100% sure- this is currently the Neon World(I think that's what most people call it) that you find as one of the original worlds found from the Nexus, right?
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PostSubject: Re: .flow; With Spinach   Thu Jan 05, 2012 1:07 pm

I'm unsure if it's still there in the final versions of the game (it's been a while since I've been to that particular spot), but there's a "tower" of blocks with a monkey-DJ at the top. He didn't actually do anything except confuse me at the time; plus I found that the character I wrote for him was far more interesting than the npc that gives you the headphones. With that in mind, I wrote this odd version right out of my head.

And yeah, it's the neon world.

Sorry if it's confusing and makes no sense.
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PostSubject: Re: .flow; With Spinach   Fri Jan 06, 2012 9:31 pm

Would it just be one of those red square shapes or one of those lines of brightly colored tiles that make sounds? Or, is it in the really new versions? I use 0.10.
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PostSubject: Re: .flow; With Spinach   Sat Jan 07, 2012 5:05 am

It's the red boxes.
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PostSubject: Re: .flow; With Spinach   Sun Jan 08, 2012 3:43 pm

Ohhh ^^ Thank you for taking the time to answer my question! That makes things a lot more clear now.
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PostSubject: Re: .flow; With Spinach   Mon Jan 09, 2012 6:01 am

I'm so glad. I'm sorry for the muddiness of it all. It wasn't as obvious a spot as I had thought. Ah well.

Thank you for reading though.
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